Reflective Essay - A Big, Fat Zero

A Big, Fat Zero

             “Tick, tock, tick tock…” Sound of the clock seemed to retreat from consciousness rapidly. I sleepily looked up and checked the time – it was 3:30 A.M. I looked down again. My ‘US History’ book was open. Every week, in AP US History class, I have this horrible chapter review quiz. The contents were quite challenging and it needed some time and diligence to get a good score on each test. I had managed to get decent scores until that week. However, this week, all the assignments and quizzes were cramped. I couldn’t flunk the quiz because of two reasons – one, because my quiz scores were kind of my dignity, a show-off of my diligence and efforts. Two, it was both a promise and a challenge that I made for myself to get a score above 9 out of 10 every quiz. Unfortunately, that promise I made in the beginning of the semester was in verge of breaking. Second by second, my head moved up and down periodically, words blurring under my eyes. I don’t know when I slept, but when I opened my eyes, the room was bright with sunshine.

             “Oh, no! Ah~! What have I done? I haven’t memorized the names at all!” Sadly, there was no more time. I trudged to first period class, trying to devise a way to squeeze some time out to memorize the confusing names and regional names. There was only one way – to ignore the lectures and focus on the US History. Since I had the quiz on the seventh period, it seemed like I could actually manage it. Still, it was a two-sided blade, since I’d have to catch up two hours of my class and I couldn’t guarantee a score that was over nine. I pondered for a while. At last, I decided to count on my luck.

             “All right everyone, please turn your pages to ~” All the students turned their pages. One book was different – my book. I started to look over the chapter, trying to stuff the important points in my head. “Jun! What are you doing?” Friend next to me asked. I couldn’t do anything but smile. Behind that smile, face full of grief was staring back.

             “Thump, thump, thump. My heart started thumping, afraid I’ll get caught. The things that I stuffed in slipped out as if they were put into a broken jar. Soon, I found myself reading the same sentence for the fifteenth time. “Hey? Excuse me? That student over there, what are you doing?” My heart froze. I slowly looked up, fearing the malicious glare from science teacher.

             “Please stand up” said the teacher. I began to pull away from the chair. “No, not you, silly! I meant the student in front of you!” To my greatest luck, friend in front of me was caught for dozing. Thanks to him, I could ‘partially’ concentrate on the upcoming quiz until end of the class.

             Fourth period came faster than usual. I walked slowly towards the lecture room, dragging my feet. My heart started thumping again, but this time, because of confidence. I was pretty proud of myself for memorizing all the contents in two hours since other four hours were just impossible to even take out the US History textbook.

             “All right students please put all your books away and take out a piece of paper.” Unsatisfied groans and hopeless moans could be heard here and there. I thought, ‘Well, I studied… ha!’ The quiz started. Sound of pencils writing on the paper could be heard around me.

             My head turned blank. I tried to think of the names and treaties, but it was just out of grasp! Whenever I had the feeling that I had it, the word seemed to retreat to the back of my head. I skipped first two questions within seconds. I shook my head – there was no way I’ll flunk this test. Unfortunately, the shock of missing the first two questions was great enough to influence the rest. It was over in just a few minutes. My answer sheet was blank. White blank. There wasn’t even a pencil mark on it. I just ducked my head of embarrassment and disappointment. I just couldn’t understand what had happened.

             The next day, in science class, I couldn’t understand a one thing that professor said. Even though I tried to catch up, it just seemed impossible without professor’s explanations. Then again, came the dreadful English class came back. Teacher called the names out one by one, passing the scores out. As my turn came closer and closer, my heart beat faster. I received my score, turned back. Slowly, I turned the score over. Then, at last, I saw it. A zero. Not just any zero, but a ‘big’, ‘fat’ zero. It was such a fresh shock, disappointment, and sadness to see the zero, even though I knew I’d have gotten it. I laughed and joked with my friends of my first zero. However, behind my smiling face, failure, defeat, and disappointment were filled up, trying to burst forth.

             Now as I’m writing this essay, I yet face another quiz tomorrow. However, this time, I’m ready. Through that experience I had concerning the US History quiz, I learned two things. First, I sorely learned that concentrating hard on each class is the best way to study. Even though you think you can catch up later on, it’s your teacher who will give out homework, quizzes, and tests. The best way to learn is to listen to the teacher’s classes. The second lesson I learned is that everything comes from continuous and diligent effort. There’s no such thing that comes by through luck. Even that luck is achieved by endeavor. I was foolish to think I could pull off a trick to avoid the zero.

             “Tick, tock, tick, tock…” Sound of the clock seems to retreat from my consciousness rapidly – it’s time to sleep.

TED Video Review - Mathemagic

TED Video Review - Mathemagic

             In this innovative TED video, the presenter performed some mathematical calculations that seemed impossible to do in ones’ heads. At first, he started with multiplying two three-digit numbers together, randomly getting the numbers from the audience. In this first part, the performance was rather insipid, since such calculation didn’t seem too hard to do. Following that, Mr. Benjamin (the performer) started to square the two and three digit numbers, beating the calculators to the answers. Still, this part was also banal, since the calculation wasn’t as challenging as I hoped. However, as the show continued, Mr. Benjamin started to perform prodigious calculations that made my mouth ajar. He started to astonish by squaring four-digit numbers insanely fast. At first, I was dubious whether he had a former negotiation with certain audiences. Of course, my doubt proved false as he chose the audience randomly as possible and answered with incessant speed. Next thing Mr. Benjamin did was to find the missing number in the product of two three digit numbers when the volunteer told the other numbers scrambled. This was far more cryptic than the performance before it since his speed of calculation was as fast as the one before. The calculations were concise and were worthy of acclaim. Next, Mr. Benjamin started to figure out the birth ‘day’ regardless of what year, month, or day. At this point of the show, he seemed so auspicious; I didn’t even have a chance to awe. When the show became a bit tedious, Mr. Benjamin moved on to the days in 1800’s. Some audiences’ futile efforts to refute performer’s skills were beaten down by accurate calculations from Mr. Benjamin. His last and best magical calculation was squaring five-digit number, thinking out loud what’s going inside his head when he is calculating. When he started, I found out what he meant be ‘thinking out loud’ because he used words in place of numbers to facilitate the calculation. The indifferent mind that I tried to keep in the start of the video was apprehensive about the chance of Mr. Benjamin getting the wrong answer. After a while, the performer, still a bit vacillate, shouted out the answer, and he was right. This TED video didn’t only give me awe and astonishment, but it also gave a lesson that profound knowledge or skill in one thing can be only obtained by having much fervor and by being a fanatic. Throughout the video, I felt that Art Benjamin, the performer, had an incredible passion and could feel that he put enormous effort and time to achieve the show. This told me that if someone wanted to be best at any field at all, they had to put their best efforts. It was a very entertaining video and learned a lot about calculations and what it takes to be a master of some field.

Review : Slam Dunk

<SLAM DUNK>

               Slam Dunk, by Inoue Takehiko, is one of the best comics I have ever seen. I was a comic fan since I was a child. Especially, sports comics were my favorites. However, unlike other similar sports comics, Slam Dunk not only made me to play basketball, but also taught me teamwork, passion, and courage. Ever since I first came across this comic when I was 13 years old, I read the series over ten times, and every time, Slam Dunk helped me go through many hardships, renewing my hopes and dreams. Although most sports comics unfold in a similar manner, Slam Dunk is different in many ways. Without a doubt, Slam Dunk is a MUST-READ work for anyone entering the world of comics.

These are the four criteria to evaluate and recommend the comic and give a brief preview to anyone who's willing to enter the world of Slam Dunk.

1. ACTION

               The action of the Slam Dunk is outstanding. In every chapter and every page, there is heart-thumping action ready to burst out of the pages. Unlike other mediocre sports comics where they put much effort in pointless story layout and details, Slam Dunk is packed with action. You get absorbed to the action so much, you can't let go of the book until it ends. Every time I turn the pages, I hold my breath for another spectacular action. The drive-ins, dunks, dribbles, steals, passes, and shoots are well-combined and well-placed to avoid the boredom of the readers. Even though the moves are similar in the foundation, every move seems to be different and breath-taking. Thus, without hesitation, I give Slam Dunk five stars in the category 'action'.

2. MORAL

               Slam Dunk gives the readers many morals that really reach deep within the readers hearts. Unlike other stories or comics where readers just 'realize' the morals, Slam Dunk actually makes readers 'feel' them. The first, and the most important lesson earned from the story is 'teamwork'. In the story, the players of the team are first all seperated and ununited. They all have different reasons and personal affairs for being in the team. Also, they are all trouble makers of the school. However, as they practice and play games together, they start to trust each other and finally become a team. The process of this is so beautiful and heartwarming, it remains in the readers minds long after finishing the book. In addition, Slam Dunk also teaches 'passion'. Throughout the story, players face difficulties that seem impossible to overcome. However, driven by their passion towards basketball, they subjugate the difficulties. This taught me to have passion and never give up on whatever you love to do and I hope it gives a similar moral to other readers. Without a doubt, Slam Dunk is a five-star story that gives out morals that cannot be forgotten.

3. STORY & DEVELOPMENT

               The story and development of the Slam Dunk is not much different than the other sports comics. Throughout the story, the team faces very difficult opponents and as they persevere through that, they become a  team. Also, game after game, each player's potentials burst out, making them a player of a whole different level. So, looking at the story point of view, Slam Dunk doesn't show much difference from other sport comics. However, looked at a dramatic point of view, Slam Dunk has nothing to feel inferior towards other comics. The tension and the drama that Slam Dunk shows to the readers make them sweat from their hands. To prevent the spoilers, I'll just wrap the drama right here. Thus, I give four stars for the story and development category.

4. DESCRIPTION

               Looking at the descriptive view, Slam Dunk is one of the best compared to any other comics. The intensity, the effort, the desperation, and the teamwork is very well described through the pictures, the readers can actually sympathize with the characters in the story, experiencing the similar emotions in their imagination. The pictures show every drop of sweat on the players' bodies and wrinkles on their faces, being very descriptive Through such descriptions, readers are able to feel as if they are right inside the story, and become closer to the characters. It gives the comic reality and sense of excitement. The comic may be white-and-black, however because of that, the description is more accurate and heart-touching. Thus, I give a five star for the description category.

Three Words to Describe Myself

Bird, Peach, and Hiker

             When ever I look at the birds flying through the sunset sky, I can’t deny that they have something very much similar to me. Birds fly away wherever they prefer to go whenever they want to go. Just like the birds, I do what I desire whenever I feel like doing so. There is no way to force me to act the way that I don’t want to. I have a free soul, not bound by any restrictions or responsibilities, trusting myself of doing the right thing. Also, peach and I possess similar characteristics too. Peach consist the soft juicy thing outside and hard seed inside. Like that I have a personality of being soft outside to other people and hard to me inside. Lastly, I feel like hiker often. Hikers only look upward and forward, never giving up. Like that, I only look on forward and never look back until I achieve the goal.

Three Words to Describe Myself

Bird, Peach, and Hiker

             When ever I look at the birds flying through the sunset sky, I can’t deny that they have something very much similar to me. Birds fly away wherever they prefer to go whenever they want to go. Just like the birds, I do what I desire whenever I feel like doing so. There is no way to force me to act the way that I don’t want to. I have a free soul, not bound by any restrictions or responsibilities, trusting myself of doing the right thing. Also, peach and I possess similar characteristics too. Peach consist the soft juicy thing outside and hard seed inside. Like that I have a personality of being soft outside to other people and hard to me inside. Lastly, I feel like hiker often. Hikers only look upward and forward, never giving up. Like that, I only look on forward and never look back until I achieve the goal.

Metafiction - A Dream Come True (two completely different stories)

A Dream Come True - Love Letter

             "It was March 17th when I first saw you. That was the time when I just arrived in America and couldn't speak English except the simple words like 'yes' or 'cool. School was a torture every day. I couldn't understand a thing that teachers talked about. I couldn't hang out with anyone because there was nobody next to me. I was lost in a middle of nowhere. I felt abandoned and alone. That's when I saw you, next to me, shining as brightly as a star upon a black sky. 

          Yes, I have a crush on you. Every single word from your mouth was beautiful, even though I couldn't understand much of it. I was quite sure you were saying something pretty. I strongly desired to listen and speak to you. However, the obstacle of language segregated us so firmly. I couldn't speak a word to you because I was afraid that you'd avoid me. 

          I wanted to tell you many things. I wanted to tell you that you smile lit the darkest corners of my life. I wanted to tell you that my heart was yours. But the only thing I was able to say to you was just "yes" and "cool". Because of this language barrier, all I could do was to wait for that day I'm able to communicate with you fully, and just watch you pass by the lockers every day. A year passed and my patience had reached its limit. I started the morning with a thumping heart.

          You are beautiful, as usual, and I am no more than a coward. You stayed next to me and helped me to go through everything I suffered at school. However, I now have the courage. And today is the day. I am here, behind you." she said, as she read through my letter.

             “Hey, this is really sweet! I never knew that you had such sweetness inside you!” she said teasingly.

             “This is embarrassing. It’s been years since I sent that first letter you.” Said I, scratching back of my head, like a child who has been caught eating a cookie.

             “Anyway, that letter didn’t turn out well.”

             “Hmm… yeah… it didn’t turn out as I expected…”

            Behind her, with my heart thumping, face red as a tomato, I held my breath as she turned towards me.

             “Well, Jun, I’m surprised, I just… just… don’t know what to say!” she said, her voice trembling slightly and her face a bit blushing.

             “Don’t…don’t get this wrong. I mean… well, it’s true that… that I like you and I’d be really glad to go out with you or anything. But this is not like a confession…no, it is a confession but… it’s not to ask you to be my girl…girlfriend, right?” I said, stammering like an idiot, with my brain blank, not understanding anything I was saying.

             “Hey, hey, calm down. Hehe. This is real sweet. I’m glad that I’ve meant so much for you and… and… you know… I wouldn’t mind going out with you. I… I liked you to as my friend too…” she said, deliberately avoiding eye contact and blushing further more.

Her words seemed to hang around the air for few seconds. Awkward silence… I couldn’t hide a smile on my face.

             “Really? Wow! Hahaha! Yay!” nothing came in my mind other than these words.

             “But why letter? You could have easily confessed face-to-face right?” she said, smiling too.

             “Yeah… about that… the reason I wrote letter is because I wanted you to remember me…”

             “Huh? Why remember you? You will be next to me every day!” she said, her smile slightly fading.

             “… I … I’m leaving America in three days. You know, I came here because of my dad and his work here is over now. I’ve always wanted to confess to you someday, but couldn’t grab a chance. I would have liked to give you a present but I wasn’t sure whether you were going to accept my confession or not.” I said, with a defeated voice and disappointment crossing the face.

             “Wha… what? You never told me about this! Why didn’t you? oh my god! If you told me, we would have had a least a farewell party… and after all this… you are leaving?” she said, with a hint of sudden anger and frustration in her words.

             “I just wanted to ‘disappear’ quietly… but I couldn’t leave without leaving anything to you.”

Another few seconds of awkward silence followed. I felt defeated. There was nothing I could do.

             “When are you coming back?” she finally said, after few minutes.

             “What?” I shouted, surprised by sudden question.

             “WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?” she shouted back.

             “Umm…. I have no idea. I mean, I didn’t know about this departure until a week ago.”

             “Alright, fine. I’m going to keep in contact with you until you come back to here. I don’t care how long it will take you. But, I can wait. It’s too sad to end right here, right?” she said, forcing a smile on her face.

             “………….” I couldn’t say anything. I was just too grateful to her for the decision.

             “Yeah, and I kept my promise, right?” she said, looking straightly at my eyes.

             “I was a bit surprised. But you did. And I came back here as I told you right?” I said, this time, not avoiding her stare.

             “I can’t tell you how great it feels for you to be here with me.” She said, sweetly.

             “Well, enough said. It’s all behind us. Now, we have a date delayed for 7 years, don’t we?”

             “A date, huh? You never asked me out or anything.”

             “Alright ma’am. Will you go out with me?”

             “You are missing a word there!” she said, teasingly.

             “Will you PLEASE go out with me?” I asked, smile spreading on my face.

             “Hmm. A girl like me is too good for you, but I’ll give you a chance.”

It’s been seven years after I sent that confession letter to her - It seems like my dream finally came true.

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A Dream Come True - Exams

this is a totally different piece of work of metafiction and doesn't have any relation with the work above.

               “Tick-tock, tick-tock”

As the clock ticked down, a drop of sweat ran down my back.

             “Tick-tock, tick-tock”

The dreadful sound was marching towards the end. My brain started to turn blank. My hands started to tremble.

             ‘Will this be solved this way? No! Then there’s no answer!’

             “Tick-tock, tick tock”

             ‘Man! There’s only a few minutes left and I have three more questions to solve. I have seen this question before… Ah… What was the key?’

             “Tick-tock, tick-tock”

             ‘Oh… I’m doomed! I’ll just have to flunk this test. What will I tell my parents? Wait, the test isn’t over yet. C’mon! I can solve at least one question with the time left!’

             “Tick-tock, tick-tock”

My brain started to buzz again, desperate to avoid chastisement and vicious scolding from my parents. My hands begin to move and started to scratch something at the test paper. However, there was no way that the problem would get suddenly solved in a few seconds.

             “Tick-tock, tick-tock”

             “Thump-thump, thump-thump”

As the test was reaching towards its last seconds, not only the clock was ticking, but my heart was trembling vigorously too, stimulated by the thrill of being so pressed by the time and the dread of flunking the test. Soon, nothing could be heard except the thumping sound of my heart.

             “Thump-thump, thump-thump”

             ‘Ah… shi*! Why I haven’t studied harder before? All those time I wasted, I could have memorized all these theorems and proofs that would have helped to solve this question. Blah… I will just have to skip the hard process. Now, what will be the reasonable answer here…’

             “Thump-thump, thump-thump”

             ‘Will thirty-three be right? No? Maybe thirty-four is the right answer? Grr… Alright, I’ll just go with thirty-three.”

             “Tick-tock, tick---beep!!!”

As I scratched the answer down the answer sheet, the clock stopped, and the bell rang, signaling the end of the horrible math exam.

             “Alright students, remember that your test sheet is your answer sheet. Make sure that you drop it in the box below me before you leave the class! Hey there! The test is over! Please turn in your answer sheets!”

It was over. All over. I failed. I flunked the test.

“Hey! Jun!” someone was calling from somewhere behind. It would be probably John, asking me how the math exam was. I didn’t want to answer. So I just put my head down on to desk, sad and defeated.

…

…

             “Bee-beep, bee-beep, bee-beep”

             ‘Huh? What’s this sound? Did I sleep all through the second test?’

             “Hey, Jun!”

             ‘Oh, it’s John again. Maybe that’s someone’s cell phone.’

             “Go away, I don’t want to talk about the math exam.

             “Hey! Jun! Wake up man! Hey! You will be late! It’s almost 8! Hey c’mon, are you crazy or something? Why won’t you wake up? Oh come on!”

             ‘What the heck is he talking about? I told him that I don’t want to talk with him! Why won’t he just knock it off? Damn it!’

             “I told you, I don’t wanna talk about the freakin’ math exam!”

             “What? What are you saying? We are going to take that freaking math exam in 20 minutes!”

             ‘What?’

             “What!” I shouted, with my eyes popping up from eye sockets. The bright light suddenly hit my eyes and I couldn’t see clearly. Squinting, I screamed again.

             “What time is it now? What day is it?”

             Smirking and laughing, they shouted back, very annoyed. “It’s Wednesday and 20 minutes before the exam! Now knock it off, we are in no mood for any jokes. Maybe you are fully prepared, but we are not!”

             “Wha…what? Oh fu**!” Darn it! So that was just a dream? Oh my god! I’m gonna be late for the test. Oh no! Wait a minute, how did I sleep last night? Um…

…

…

             “Darn it! There’s so much to do! I don’t get a one bit of this theorem. What time is it, John?”

             “Its 3:30 A.M. It’s same here. Polar coordinates are driving me crazy. My head doesn’t work as it should. Maybe because I’m damn sleepy!” said John, with his eyes half closed.

             “Man! You are already that far? I’m barely finished with the inequalities and my head just stopped working and my eyes are blurry.”

             “Don’t lie Jun, I saw you go over the whole thing before midnight.” Said John, frowning.

             “Well, whatever. I’m gonna sleep for 30 minutes, alright? Please wake me up at 4:00.”

             “I bet 1 million that you are never going to wake up and anyway, I don’t think I can stay up until then.”

             “C’mon, please. I’m really desperate.” I said, already starting to lie on the floor.

             “Alright, but I warned you!” said John, shaking his head.

…

…

             ‘Oh…SHIT! I’m doomed.’

             “I tried to wake you up at the time you asked, but you just shook your head when I told you to wake up. I tried for 10 minutes or so and I slept.”

             “Oh, that’s fine. It’s my fault. You guy go ahead, I’ll go after I pack my bag”

             “Alright, make sure you aren’t late!”

             ‘No. I’m not even close to fine. I didn’t look it over even once! I never memorized definitions! I was just bluffing to you guys.’ However, there was no time to squander. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, put on my uniform and started out the dorm at a speed of light. I just made it in time.

             “Alright students don’t forget to write your name on the sheet, and the test starts…NOW!”

             ‘Oh well, here I go. So, it’s a dream call true, huh?”

Life is an Infinite Game...

Infinite Mountains

             “One down, thousands more to go!” Right now, I’m playing a game - a game that I can’t choose to play, but one that I have to play. ‘Infinite Mountains’ is the name of the game I’m playing. In this game, we are faced with innumerable challenges throughout our lives. Some challenges lure us to forget our responsibilities, some gives out hardships to achieve our goals. Most of them are very difficult to overcome. This is why they are called mountains. These challenges are not just tough to beat, but they also contain some interesting characteristics.

             First, the game ‘Infinite Mountains’ is continuous and steady as a rocking horse throughout our lives. Rocking horse moves up and down slowly and steadily with its rider on its back. The game is just the same. Challenges come out for us every day, every minute. For example, as I’m writing this essay, I’m faced with a challenge to make a choice between talking with my friends and keeping on writing this. Every night and day, we are faced with challenges not only concerning such serious topics such as friendship or grades, but also trivial topics like a decision to eat lunch or sleep. Challenge comes from everywhere without stopping. Thus, the game I’m playing is steady as a rocking horse.

             Second, the game ‘Infinite Mountains’ is sensitive and subtle as a bruise in a way that affects our lives. Challenges work as a criterion to identify whether we are successful in our lives or not. These challenges are not always subtle, but many of them are. For example, let’s say that I failed to get a good score on this essay. It may be nothing much since I can do better on my next piece of writing, but still, I’ll lose confidence subtly. Bruises are subtle because they aren’t recognized until they are actually touched. It’s the same way with the challenges. We succeed in thousands, but also fail in thousands. We only try to remember the ones we succeeded on. However, when those that we failed are mentioned, it hurts. For example, there is a guy who was top of his class in physics but got a B in his English class. He can only emphasize his success in physics class. However, whenever English is mentioned, he will feel regrets. The game I’m playing is subtle because we only tend to remember the good experiences.

             The game ‘Infinite Mountains’ is just like a marathon. In marathon, the runner with faced with lack of breath and shuddering legs. Throughout our lives, we play our own game of ‘Infinite Mountains’. The types and the intensity of the mountains that stand before the players may vary from person to person. However, there’s one thing that all the different types of games share – we must always try our best and do our best to win this game.