Reflective Essay - A Big, Fat Zero

A Big, Fat Zero

             “Tick, tock, tick tock…” Sound of the clock seemed to retreat from consciousness rapidly. I sleepily looked up and checked the time – it was 3:30 A.M. I looked down again. My ‘US History’ book was open. Every week, in AP US History class, I have this horrible chapter review quiz. The contents were quite challenging and it needed some time and diligence to get a good score on each test. I had managed to get decent scores until that week. However, this week, all the assignments and quizzes were cramped. I couldn’t flunk the quiz because of two reasons – one, because my quiz scores were kind of my dignity, a show-off of my diligence and efforts. Two, it was both a promise and a challenge that I made for myself to get a score above 9 out of 10 every quiz. Unfortunately, that promise I made in the beginning of the semester was in verge of breaking. Second by second, my head moved up and down periodically, words blurring under my eyes. I don’t know when I slept, but when I opened my eyes, the room was bright with sunshine.

             “Oh, no! Ah~! What have I done? I haven’t memorized the names at all!” Sadly, there was no more time. I trudged to first period class, trying to devise a way to squeeze some time out to memorize the confusing names and regional names. There was only one way – to ignore the lectures and focus on the US History. Since I had the quiz on the seventh period, it seemed like I could actually manage it. Still, it was a two-sided blade, since I’d have to catch up two hours of my class and I couldn’t guarantee a score that was over nine. I pondered for a while. At last, I decided to count on my luck.

             “All right everyone, please turn your pages to ~” All the students turned their pages. One book was different – my book. I started to look over the chapter, trying to stuff the important points in my head. “Jun! What are you doing?” Friend next to me asked. I couldn’t do anything but smile. Behind that smile, face full of grief was staring back.

             “Thump, thump, thump. My heart started thumping, afraid I’ll get caught. The things that I stuffed in slipped out as if they were put into a broken jar. Soon, I found myself reading the same sentence for the fifteenth time. “Hey? Excuse me? That student over there, what are you doing?” My heart froze. I slowly looked up, fearing the malicious glare from science teacher.

             “Please stand up” said the teacher. I began to pull away from the chair. “No, not you, silly! I meant the student in front of you!” To my greatest luck, friend in front of me was caught for dozing. Thanks to him, I could ‘partially’ concentrate on the upcoming quiz until end of the class.

             Fourth period came faster than usual. I walked slowly towards the lecture room, dragging my feet. My heart started thumping again, but this time, because of confidence. I was pretty proud of myself for memorizing all the contents in two hours since other four hours were just impossible to even take out the US History textbook.

             “All right students please put all your books away and take out a piece of paper.” Unsatisfied groans and hopeless moans could be heard here and there. I thought, ‘Well, I studied… ha!’ The quiz started. Sound of pencils writing on the paper could be heard around me.

             My head turned blank. I tried to think of the names and treaties, but it was just out of grasp! Whenever I had the feeling that I had it, the word seemed to retreat to the back of my head. I skipped first two questions within seconds. I shook my head – there was no way I’ll flunk this test. Unfortunately, the shock of missing the first two questions was great enough to influence the rest. It was over in just a few minutes. My answer sheet was blank. White blank. There wasn’t even a pencil mark on it. I just ducked my head of embarrassment and disappointment. I just couldn’t understand what had happened.

             The next day, in science class, I couldn’t understand a one thing that professor said. Even though I tried to catch up, it just seemed impossible without professor’s explanations. Then again, came the dreadful English class came back. Teacher called the names out one by one, passing the scores out. As my turn came closer and closer, my heart beat faster. I received my score, turned back. Slowly, I turned the score over. Then, at last, I saw it. A zero. Not just any zero, but a ‘big’, ‘fat’ zero. It was such a fresh shock, disappointment, and sadness to see the zero, even though I knew I’d have gotten it. I laughed and joked with my friends of my first zero. However, behind my smiling face, failure, defeat, and disappointment were filled up, trying to burst forth.

             Now as I’m writing this essay, I yet face another quiz tomorrow. However, this time, I’m ready. Through that experience I had concerning the US History quiz, I learned two things. First, I sorely learned that concentrating hard on each class is the best way to study. Even though you think you can catch up later on, it’s your teacher who will give out homework, quizzes, and tests. The best way to learn is to listen to the teacher’s classes. The second lesson I learned is that everything comes from continuous and diligent effort. There’s no such thing that comes by through luck. Even that luck is achieved by endeavor. I was foolish to think I could pull off a trick to avoid the zero.

             “Tick, tock, tick, tock…” Sound of the clock seems to retreat from my consciousness rapidly – it’s time to sleep.